Are you allowing negativity to surround you and your romantic relationship, quenching the matchmaking spirit that can hold your relationship together?  If you are bringing that negativity into the relationship or if your partner is bringing it in or if you are both allowing an outside source to bring it in, then you have a problem and you need to get your matchmaking efforts into high gear and recognize the enemy, which is that negativity, and not your partner, and get it out of your relationship.

Negativity can come in all different packages, but any one of them is bad news for your relationship and when it comes, you need to work your matchmaking magic to toss those packages in the trash.  Your partner can be the one who is bringing this negativity into your relationship and that behavior needs to be stopped, but there is a right way and a wrong way to deal with it and that is where your matchmaking techniques come into play.  Maybe your partner is dealing with some issues from his or her past and they are surfacing and it is causing a conflict within your partner, thus negatively affecting your relationship.  You need to be bold, but considerate and try to figure out why your partner is acting this way and tread gently when asking questions.  When your partner is in the midst of this negativity, he or she won’t be very amenable to your matchmaking techniques and he or she will want to stay in the pity party and not get out.  Do your best to understand where your partner is coming from and make certain that you let your partner know that you care about him or her unconditionally and you are not forcing him or her to be emotionally vulnerable until he or she is ready.  That will be a tremendous help to your partner and your matchmaking efforts will see results.

Are you bringing the negativity into your relationship?  If you are then you need to really utilize your matchmaking skills and find a way to the break through.  If you cannot find the way to the breakthrough, then hopefully, your partner is on target and is ready to utilize his or her matchmaking techniques to help you through this time.  That is why you always need to be on the offensive against such enemies to your mature dating relationships as negativity and self-pity etc because those enemies can so easily creep into your relationship and if left unchecked, they can fester and grow and become an ugly force that can drive a wedge between you and your partner.  If an outside force is causing the wedge, then you need to work together with your partner to use your combined matchmaking techniques to get to the root of the problem.  Such an outside force can be an ex-partner or a flirtatious co-worker or a meddling family member.  If you and your partner work as a team to deal with those outside forces, you will be well on your way to matchmaking success in your relationship as you grow together as a couple.